Pastor Tunde Ayeni has advised singles to look beyond romantic feelings when choosing a life partner, arguing that being in love should not be the sole reason for getting married.
Speaking to his congregation, Ayeni maintained that marriage decisions should be based on careful consideration and compatibility rather than emotions alone.
“I’ve never told you in this church before to marry somebody that you’re in love with. It’s not a biblical statement at all,” he said, noting that he would continue to challenge those who disagreed with his position.
According to the pastor, choosing the right spouse is one of the most important decisions a person can make because it can determine whether they experience peace or constant conflict in marriage.
“One thing that will give you rest is the choice of the person you marry. If you marry a wrong person, you can never be a man of rest. You are already in prison from the first day,” he stated.
Ayeni further argued that marrying someone purely because of intense love could make a person overlook their partner’s faults or avoid confronting difficult issues for fear of causing conflict.
“If you marry the person you love, you’re already a slave to that person,” he said, explaining that people may become reluctant to correct or challenge someone they deeply love because they do not want to hurt their feelings.
He also pointed out that excessive emotional attachment can make it difficult for couples to be completely honest with each other.
“That’s why some of you cannot tell your wife the truth, you cannot tell your husband the truth, because you are so in love, you don’t want to ruffle the atmosphere. You don’t want to offend it,” Ayeni said.
Instead, the pastor encouraged singles to consider whether they can genuinely build a life with the person they intend to marry and whether the relationship is grounded in qualities that can sustain a marriage.
“You choose the person you can live with, not the person you love. You love the person you marry. Once you have chosen that one, decide to love her, decide to love him. Don’t now choose because you love,” he advised.
Ayeni also urged people preparing for marriage to seek guidance and counsel from trusted individuals before making such a major decision.
He, however, clarified that his message was not an instruction for people to marry someone they do not want. Rather, he encouraged singles to be deliberate and thoughtful about their choice of partner.
“Because I never tell people not to marry who they want to marry. Because we won’t stay in the house together,” he added.
“Don’t marry the person you love; love the person you marry, because marrying the person you love makes you a sl@ve to them” — Pastor Tunde Ayeni advises pic.twitter.com/yEI0OMejPi
— Instablog9ja (@instablog9ja) August 24, 2026
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