Six Rules To Make You A Happier Ugandan

By Badru Walusansa

I recently met an old acquaintance I hadn’t seen in years. In the past, we would debate everything — especially governance and accountability, my favorite subjects.

As usual, I asked him to comment on Uganda’s current political climate. He looked uneasy. Then he did something unexpected: he changed the subject to farming. He spoke about it for 30 minutes straight.

Surely, my knowledge of farming is unapologetically shallow. To my chagrin, he had smartly repossessed the conversation.

Blatantly, I tried again, asking him to predict Uganda’s governance trajectory and what it means for us “young turks.” My concern was how the young people can still contribute amidst the ever-changing civic space.

Intent on making his point, he answered in a serious tone. He sounded tired and retired. He confided in me that the governance trajectory of this country sparks anxiety. 

Whether his disinterest was born of fear, fatigue, or wisdom, it hit me. But this is not new, as many Ugandans have quietly shunned political discourse, labelling it a “sensitive topic.”  

Another friend once told me he wished he could “reboot his brain” to erase everything he knows about Uganda’s politics. In other words, he knew too much to his disadvantage. That’s how far we have come.  

Then I noticed the pattern. My best columnists are going silent. Dr. Busingye Kabumba announced a “strategic silence” in his last Weekly Observer OpEd — not because his ink dried up, but because he felt he had written enough only to be disappointed by inaction.

Similarly, Daniel Kalinaki, whose columns I devoured, has also paused. Another talent went loudly silent.

Did these men of reason receive a manual the rest of us missed? A guide to living comfortably in the new Uganda? In case that manual exists, I think here are its six guiding rules that we need to keep abreast of.

Rule 1: Embrace blissful ignorance. Abhor politics like a bishop or priest hates witchcraft. Replace political talk with football, cooking, or farming. Contentious topics like political transition should be avoided at all costs, unless you are whispering to yourself.

Rule 2: Learn to pretend that all is okay. It’s okay to be “closed” if your only job is to disturb your master’s peace. It’s okay to be whisked away if your mouth won’t stay shut. It’s okay to be silenced if you disagree with your protectors.  

Rule 3: Avoid social media. At this point, social media is the new battlefield. It’s no longer a platform to exchange ideas and healthy disagreement. While on X, learn to stay in your lane. On a bad day, a genuine response to a cheeky tweet could land you in serious trouble. In fact, if you want to deactivate your X account, I’m ready to help you at no cost. As for TikTok, ensure your algorithm is full of food, sports, and animals. If you have anger issues, avoid watching the news and settle for Nat Geo Wild.

Rule 4: Be patient and exercise restraint. Patience is when you comfortably endure uncomfortable situations. Restraint is when you’re provoked and choose to stay aloof. Be patient with those who send provocation to check your reaction. You may be stronger than them but cannot defeat them. Restrain from unnecessary push back because you could be pushed back. As day follows night, the dust will finally settle and who knows, sanity may be restored.

Rule 5: Lower your expectations. The absurdity that you can be declared winner except with clearance from the master should not be rocket science. A race between a rich man’s son and a thousand poor people is too obvious for the arbiters to determine. The poor people will be scolded by the arbiter for not fighting back even when their hands and legs are tied. That’s why it’s important to lower your expectations of the arbiter. Please let the arbiter be; after all, he’s not your employee.

Rule 6: And this is the last rule. Quite simple. Observe the rules above to stay around and see whether it’s true that there’s always light at the end of the tunnel – or the tunnel at the end of the light, whichever.

Badru Walusansa is a socio-political analyst

 

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