By Enitan Abdultawab
Nollywood actress Shaffy Bello has said she expects younger people to show respect by using appropriate titles rather than calling elders by their first names.
Her comments come amid the viral exchange between UBA Chairman Tony Elumelu and a young woman who addressed him as “Tony” during a recent event. Elumelu corrected her, asking to be called “Mr Elumelu” or “TOE,” sparking a wider debate about respect, age and the practice of addressing older people by their first names.
Bello, while speaking about her own experiences in a recent podcast, said she does not take kindly to being addressed simply as “Shaffy” by people significantly younger than her.
“When a child calls me by my name, Shaffy, I pull them closer and tell them, ‘You haven’t earned the right, and you never will,’” she said.
The actress explained that having children around the same age as those addressing her makes the practice particularly uncomfortable for her.
“I have a child as old as you are, and even if I do not have children, you have not earned the right and you will never earn the right at your age to call me by name,” she added.
For Bello, the issue goes beyond simply using someone’s first name. She believes traditional forms of respect, such as “Ma’am,” should not be abandoned.
“Whatever happened to Ma’am?” she asked, noting that she finds the casual greeting “Hi” equally irritating.
“There is even something about this ‘Hi’; I can’t stand it,” Bello said.
She attributed some of the differences in how people address older adults to upbringing and culture, pointing to practices in different parts of Nigeria and the United States.
According to Bello, even children in the United States use respectful titles when addressing older people.
“Even children in the U.S. call me ‘Ma,’” she said, stressing that respect for elders remains important to her.
Bello had previously explained that when younger people say to her “Hi Shaffy,” she understands that upbringing and cultural background may influence how they interact with older people. However, she said she prefers to correct them with love rather than react harshly.
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